When I was 14, a boy in my class named Wallace invited me to a WWF House Show for his birthday with some other kids. I didn’t have any interest in that fake shit, but it got me out of church for a weekend, so I was down. I ended up having a religious awakening anyway. Watching those shirtless oily men grab against each other, I knew right away that I needed to be down there with them.  It was the most important birthday party of my life.

A few weeks later, I found out that Wallace had a crush on me, and he invited me to the show because he had a vague hope it’d let him see my boob somehow. Ten years later, when I did the photoshoot for Playoboy, I sent him a copy. Mission Accomplished, awkward teenage Wallace!

– Except from “The Following Contest is Scheduled For One Fall” by Nicola Taylor.