“Jamal Jones thinks he gonna win the Rated R Championship at Demolition Day, but Jamal Jones is wrong. See, normally when two men face each other, each has a fifty percent chance of winnin’. But I’m The Pimp One. I’m a Man and a Half. So I got a seventy-five percent chance of winnin’, even if the other guy’s as good, which he ain’t. Jamal Jones ain’t a man and a half, he ain’t even half a man. He five eighths. He got five eighths of half a chance, which is thirty-one and a fourth percent of winning. Normally. But this ain’t a normal match, it’s a four-way dance. And normally each man in a 4-way is twenty-five percent, but I already beat Captain Ultimate. I already beat Carl Angel, if it were fair, so they KNOW they can’t beat me, they ain’t even gonna try.
So I got a seventy-five percent chance, and a seventy-five chance on top of that. That’s a ninety-three and seventy five chance, just to start. And Jamal, he only got five-eight of twenty-fives chance, which is, uh, fifteen-sixteen percent. So I wouldn’t bet on Jamal on the best of days. But it ain’t gonna be the best of days, Jeanne, because Demolition Day is in my home town o’ Da! Ven! Port! And the hometown hero, which is what I am Jeanne, a hero to hos everywhere, the hometown hero wins sixty-six percent of the time. Did you know that? So, you take my ninety-three point seventy five percent I have of winning anywhere, and divide it by the 66% chance anyone has in their hometown. I got a hundred and forty two point oh four five repeating chance of winnin’, and that’s my worst case.
Jamal, those are the numbers, and they spell out “YOU GONNA LOSE” to Pimp Poppa Pete on Demolition Day”. Holla if you understand! That the Big Pimp Daddy and his Big Pimp Hand, will smack all bitches across the land, cause Pimp Poppa Pete’s the Pimp Poppa Man! HOOAH!”
-Pimp Poppa Pete in an unscripted interview to Jeanne Oak, WSL Monday Night Wrestling, August 18th, 1997.